Secretary Napolitano, or your duly employed servant, welcome to our humble website.
One of the members of our team, who regularly checks our webstats, sent me a printout of people reading our website ImpeachObamaCampaign.com. It showed that one our loyal visitors is the Department of Homeland Security.
In fact, it seems someone at the DHS checks in roughly once or twice a day. (At least, those are the only visits we detected.)
Apparently “White House Watch” is a two-way street.
Of course, we know why you’re doing this. You hate conservatives. For years, you have tried to dehumanize us and accuse us of terrorism, from the Holocaust Museum to Gabrielle Giffords’ tragic shooting (which was perpetrated by the psychotic son of hippie parents). Your agency even released a factually challenged report cum libel in 2009 claiming “rightwing [sic.] extremists during the 1990s exploited a variety of social issues” including “same-sex marriage” to stoke terrorist assaults like Waco. (They did not.) This official DHS report concluded “that lone wolves and small terrorist cells embracing violent rightwing [sic.] extremist ideology are the most dangerous domestic terrorism threat in the United States.” President Obama echoed this faulty assessment this week, saying, “The most likely scenario that we have to guard against right now ends up being more of a lone wolf operation than a large, well-coordinated terrorist attack.” He then invoked Norway’s Anders Behring Breivik, who committed his deeds shortly after the DHS released a video portraying terrorists as average, middle Americans (and white, like Breivik).
We know we’re not the only ones you’re watching.
Heck, I reported last October that Planned Parenthood gave a presentation to the DHS and the FBI inviting you to spy on:
[T]hree pages of “Anti-Abortion Web Sites,” including such malefactors as the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN), National Right to Life, Concerned Women for America, the Center for Bio-Ethical Reform, Priests for Life, the American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ), American Life League, Human Life International, Pro-Life Action League, BlackGenocide.org, the Pro-Life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians, and a website dedicated to exposing the birth control pill.
I wrote at the time, “We are disappointed this website was launched too late for inclusion.” Thanks for catching that. This is the kind of constituent service we expect when we work until April 12 just to pay our taxes.
It’s an unusual honor to be included in the ranks of those under government surveillance. But we wish you would stop cyberstalking Joseph Farah and Phyllis Schlafly (or for that matter Alex Jones and Jeff Rense) long enough to rethink your agency’s position. After all, you base who you will watch based on who you think is most likely to start killing people. Somehow, you let your ideology blind you to the facts, and you decided conservatives were more likely to foment terrorism than people like Nidal Hasan, the Lackawanna Six, the Fort Dix jihadists, John Walker Lindh, al-Qaeda spokesman Adam Gadahn, etc.
Instead of monitoring radical Islamists, one of the employees in your department — Juliette Kayyem, the assistant secretary for intergovernmental affairs at the DHS — wrote an op-ed in the Boston Globe promoting Al Jazeera, which we already finance with our tax dollars.
Barack Obama thought he could talk anyone into anything. He thought if he just worked some of his teleprompter-fueled magic the Muslim world’s antipathy to the West would drop as surely as the sea levels. The only people impervious to his snake-charm, he thought, were Bible-believing Rush Limbaugh listeners and pro-life patriots. He convinced you that if you coddled Muslim extremists and spied on everyone to the right of Charles Krauthammer, you could stop all terrorism within months.
Face it, you screwed up.
Why don’t you stop strip-searching helpless grandmothers, confiscating pregnant diabetics’ insulin, and committing criminal acts of pedophilia at the airport and admit not all Americans are equally likely to start hoisting guns and screaming, “Allahu Akbar!” Why don’t you realize these flyover-country bumpkins you ridicule are just decent, church-going Americans who get a little emotional when they wave the flag, who love this country (at least) as much as you do, and who take pride in their Founding Fathers — and who get just a little bit peeved when Chicago thugs abuse our Constitution in order to spy on and bully their political opponents? Why don’t you do something to justify your salary?
While you’re here, at least be sure to click on the Google ads. Your president believes it is only fair to “spread the wealth around.” Besides, if this website goes out of business, you might have to put down your Cheetos, get out from behind that desk, learn to recite the Koran in its original Arabic, and go find some real extremists — who won’t write you kind messages like this when they find out you’ve been watching them.
Thanks for stopping by. We’ll see you again tomorrow.