Coachisright Opinion


The 57 State Doofus Report: To Regain His “Cool” Obama Rehearsed His “Spontaneous” Al Green Song


As a public service The 57 State Doofus Report will appear here as new items from our teleprompter president provide them. This material comes from The Ulsterman Report.

The Potemkin presidency has produced another unsurprising “surprise.”  According to the buzz in Washington political insider circles Barack Obama’s “spontaneous” rendition of an old Al Green Soul hit“Let’s stay together” was “rehearsed to death.” It is not clear whether the Doofus in Chief used a teleprompter but he did use a cue card and the whole staged event was arranged because Obama is trying to be “cool” again. Being “cool” translates into getting the halfwits in or colleges to vote for him so he’ll cancel their student loans – yes these simpletons actually believe that!

Searching for his lost “cool”

UR quotes Obama as saying he wants to be cool again as he was in 2008. Specifically he was overheard saying “Like in ’08. We were the S*^t back in ’08.” It is reportedly so bizarrely embarrassing to some of the younger White House staffers that they joke behind Obama’s back and ask each other “Are we cool again?” The report goes on to reveal the White House brought in a voice coach and the obsessed Obama spent more time working to regain his “s*^t” than he did on any of his actual duties – you know like running the country keeping us safe from terrorist and golfing (sorry I couldn’t resist).

Even when Obama “spontaneously belted out” the few words of “Let’s stay together”, he had to use a cue card. That says, “NOT SPONTANEOUS – REHEASHED!” all over it.

Ulsterman’s report continues by saying that Obama campaign operatives sent the video to the lapdog media (likely put it up on Youtube as well) and stationed “about 40 or 50 people in the crowd who had been instructed to “cheer loudly” when the Doofus in Chief sang.

Playing his “I’m still the s^*t” part to the hilt, Obama can be seen in the video gratefully acknowledging the “spontaneous” cheers at the end of this cue card aided “spontaneous” event.

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