With the horrible theater shooting in Colorado and the cries from the left for stronger gun control laws in order to prevent anything like this from ever happening again, I started wondering if they have a point. So, I did a quick internet search, and one of the first hits was from wiki.answers.com: “What are the top ten major crimes in America?” Did I verify that this list was 100% accurate? No, but for the purpose of this blog, it’ll do just fine! All I wanted to see is if stronger laws or removing the common denominator from these crimes in order to reduce the crime rate would be a viable solution.
Here are the Top 10 Crimes in America (as listed by http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_the_top_ten_major_crimes_in_America):
2. Domestic Violence
4. Sexual Conduct with minors
7. Computer Theft
9. Identity Theft
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So, using the same line of thinking that it will fix the problem if we take away or limit the guns, let’s try it with these crimes:
1. Homicide (the deliberate and unlawful killing of one person by another; murder) – I see the common denominator here being “people.” If we limit how many people are available to either kill or be killed, this would greatly reduce the homicide rate. There are several ways to do this; genocide, euthanasia, and abortion are all viable ways that we could reduce the overall population, thereby reducing homicide.
2. Domestic Violence – outlaw traditional marriage as well as common-law marriage, same-sex marriage, etc. We may need to consider banning roommates also. If people are not coexisting, they cannot be violent towards one another…problem solved!
3. Battery (an intentional, permitted act causing harmful or offensive contact with the “person” of another) – make it harder to become a person or altogether eliminate people!
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4. Sexual Conduct with minors – Since we’ve already established with gun crimes that it’s not the fault of the shooter (but rather the problem is the gun), we must assume that the sexual predator is not at fault, but rather the minors. So maybe the answer is making it unlawful to be under the age of 18?
5. Assault – once again, if in gun crimes the gun is the problem (and not the gun user), then it would only make sense to assume that in assault crimes, the real problem is the knife, chair, baseball bat, frying pan, fist, elbow, foot, or knee. All of these things should not be allowed. Or at the very least, in order to own a fist, elbow, foot, knee, etc, you need to have a full federal background check. If the government deems you unworthy, all fists, elbows, feet, knees, etc. should be removed immediately!
6. Robbery – this one is easy! If there is nothing to steal, than nothing can be stolen. Take away ALL private property!
7. Computer Theft – SEE ROBBERY
8. Forgery – outlaw free enterprise and capitalism, which in turn would make nothing worth forging/copying.
9. Identity Theft – people should not be allowed to have identities because it tempts others to want to steal it, and as we’ve established, it’s not their fault! Plus, an unplanned advantage of this solution is that if no one has an identity, it eliminates all criminals by default…therefore wiping out all crime! If you have no identity, how can you be accused of a crime?
10. Drugs – outlaw drugs…wait, a lot of them already are? Make them even MORE illegal..and the ones that are currently legal, outlaw them too!
In closing, it goes without saying that if we start taking things away and making more and more laws, things will get better! Because people who break the law will…well, I guess they will be forced to…wait, I thought this made sense at first because I obey the law and therefore more laws just take away more of my freedoms. But if you make more laws for people who don’t obey the law, that will in turn, I guess, will do nothing for the problem whatsoever…hmm? Maybe they don’t have a point…
The views expressed in this opinion article are solely those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by WesternJournalism.com.