Welcome to my fantasy Presidential campaign. To start off with, I will not make any campaign promises that I cannot keep; therefore, I’m not going to make any! I am going to do my best to accomplish the following, provided Congress will work with me. I am going to change our immigration policy so that anyone who wishes to become an American citizen may do so, and the process will be guaranteed to take no longer than 5 yrs. total! The following requirements are needed in order to receive citizenship papers:
#1. All persons seeking citizenship MUST learn to read and comprehend ENGLISH.
#2. Seekers of citizenship must have a skill useful to the United States. Temporary work visas will be issued to the working immigrant through their prospective employer!
#3. All immigrants working on temporary visas MUST pay all taxes just like every other citizen. If the seeker becomes unemployed within that period of 5 yrs., they will have 60 days to secure other employment or be sent back to their country of origin. Welfare benefits will NOT be paid to any non-citizens! Employers will be required to provide medical benefits to their workers for which the federal government will give them a tax credit (upon proof of said coverage) to equal not less than 75% OF THE MEDICAL PREMIUM. ANY immigrants caught gaming the system wil be deported, and in the case of employers, fined HEAVILY or suspended from doing business for 5 yrs.
#4 Any non-citizen immigrant wishing to serve in the United States military and is accepted for a period of not less than four years in any branch, including the Coast Guard, will be given permanent citizenship for themselves and their immediate family. The seeker, if they wish to bring other family members here, must prove to the immigration authorities that their income will be able to sustain not only themselves but those they wish to have considered for citizenship.
#5 No immigrant within their 5-yr. waiting period will be allowed to vote in ANY election until they receive their citizenship papers.
#6 Any immigrant who commits a felony or high misdemeanor, or is found to be engaged in any activity that is illegal or a security risk to the United States, will be tried, imprisoned and then deported.
At the end of the first five years, I will have incorporated into my immigration bill a requirement that English is the OFFICIAL language of the United States. No more “press one for English, press two for Spanish, press three for Swahili”, or whatever. All official government documents, be they local, state, or federal, will be in English! Geez, think of all the savings on paper! My plan for paying for all this is simple. We dismantle the Departments of Education (and reassign the employees to the new ICE Department and let the states determine what their educational needs and budgets are), Energy (as it seems this department is being used by the environmentalists to screw America out of her energy independence), HUD ( what the hell do they do anymore anyway?), and Transportation (doesn’t Commerce regulate the same things as this department? Let the states keep the gas taxes paid in their own state and assume responsibility for the portion of the federal highways within their own borders. Got potholes or need road repairs? Just amble on over to your state capital and pin your state reps’ ears back or put them out of a job.)
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