Yep, that salutation means exactly what it implies, John…. We’re through! Actually, that took place four years ago, if not earlier, when the “Straight-Talk Express” decided to mimic Chris Matthews, and lob only amiable and anemic softballs at your presumed opponent, Barry Soetoro/Obama. And that’s precisely my point, John. We, the American People, wanted (and clearly needed and deserved) to know who this Junior Senator from Illinois, the Land – not of Lincoln, but of – Capone really was. Four years later, many still don’t…although it seems that I may have just summed it all up!
So, John, if you’re wondering “if it’s cold in here,” or “if it’s you?”…it’s plainly freezing, and everyone else in the room knows that “it ain’t us”! Meanwhile, your h-deprived namesake (and AZ Senate colleague, Jon Kyl), along with virtually every other Republican member of the United States Congress, has been AWOL on this matter of critical national security import from the beginning, and you of all people, John, should be acutely aware that that means something entirely different from simply being MIA. The latter can’t always be helped; the former most certainly can!
We’re at war, John, and I would have thought that given your background, you would recognize the fact. Has the hero of the Hanoi Hilton melted into a “sunshine patriot”? (That was Thomas Paine who said that, John – in case you’ve forgotten.)
What prompted me to officially inform you of our long-overdue break-up, John, was your most recent communication, to both me and apparently to many others. Here it is:
Dear Mr. Ballantyne:
Thank you for contacting me about the citizenship requirements for the office of President of the United States. I appreciate knowing your views on this issue. [Really, John?]
As you may know, Section 1 of Article Two of the United States Constitution sets forth the eligibility requirements for serving as President of the United States: “No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.”
Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this very important matter. Please feel free to contact me on this or any other issue of concern.
John McCain – United States Senator
Once again, John, having very little knowledge of such things, I was surprised to hear that the whole matter of Barry (or Barack’s) identity/citizenship was actually addressed in the Constitution. Imagine my surprise upon learning that!
So what you, John, and that dusty old document you quoted from are suggesting is, what? That someone aspiring to the highest office in the Free (or not-so-free) World should be “natural-born”?
It occurs to me that since the FDA had not even remotely crossed the minds of men like Madison, Jay, and Hamilton, this archaic and quaint criterion must be referring to more than his now-highly-revered mother toughing it out in the delivery room – in either Kansas or Kenya…er, that is Honolulu! (Which hospital was it that was claiming him these days, John? It’s so hard to keep up with all the changes!)
Could it mean that his unwed parents – both his under-aged mom and his Kenyan-born British subject/citizen “father” could not possibly have bestowed citizenship – much less “natural-born” citizenship – on their illegitimate offspring? While I am loathe to repeat myself in referring to his unfortunate “illegitimacy,” John, is there anything about this phantom president which is, in fact, provably legitimate? I’m all ears, John, should you come across something…although I won’t refrain from drawing breath in the interim….
In any case, John, I know you’re not aware of it, as evidenced by your conspicuous absence at the March 31st Arpaio Press Conference in Sun City West – at which, had you attended, you could have addressed some 1,200 or more of your constituents. But the most widely-recognized Sheriff in all of America – who also, come to think of it, hails from your own “home” state of Arizona-has proven beyond doubt (reasonable or otherwise) that whoever the current occupant of the Oval Office is, or may be…wherever he was born…and whoever his parents may have been, the digital/virtual image that he has posted on his MySpace page is a cheap imitation, and proven forgery! (And, thanks to Mike Zullo and Sheriff Arpaio’s Cold-Case Posse, we can also say with certainty, the same regarding his Selective Service Registration – which alone makes him ineligible to serve in any federal capacity or office …but I digress!)
I truly hate to bring it up, but given his woeful inability to obtain even the lowest-level security clearance (an extreme difficulty when one can’t even pass E-Verify), our esteemed Commander in Chief would without question not qualify to work in Michelle’s celebrated White House vegetable garden – unless, of course, she too hires “undocumented workers”…but once again, I digress!
But getting back to my previous point; in spite of the vast array of irrefutable proof of multiple unprecedented forgeries, you, John, find the matter of the Constitutional eligibility of the Commander in Chief of the most powerful military on Earth, unworthy of comment…other than to reaffirm that you, like your aspiring young colleague, Jeff Flake, “believe” that he is a “citizen.” While you, of course, offer no rational basis for that “belief,” I seem to recall from your highly-informative letter that he must be “natural-born,” John…whatever that may mean!
In any case, John, isn’t this a little like continuing to “believe” that the Earth is, indeed, flat – even after Columbus has returned from his historic maiden voyage? Actually, it is, so by all means, go ahead and remain rooted in the clearly-fashionable ignorance of the past! After all, we no longer burn at the stake those who depart from the firmly-established orthodoxy of the elites, but whatever it is that the Ruling Class do to dissenters these days, it must be terrifying, John, to cow an old war hero like you. What could it be…banishment from the castle of the cultural elites? Is that it, John? Is that worth betraying your country and your oath of office, John, as well as your oath as a uniformed military officer?
Fortunately, all is not lost, John…as your highly-informed and courageous constituents nonetheless sail on, undeterred, and armed with the truth as irrefutably substantiated by Sheriff Joe and his Posse (along with a vast army of countless other citizen soldiers across this nation.) And we expect to reach America ourselves very soon – this time, all of it; as all but the most fervent zealots will soon be forced to acknowledge what everyone else in the room already knows but won’t admit-the all-but-blinding truth-that the Emperor in the People’s House has not even a stitch of clothes!
Tom Ballantyne – A Once-Ardent Admirer (along with countless others!)