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(Fourth Most “Conservative” Member of the U.S. Senate)

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From An Unimpressed Tea Party Activist

T. M. Ballantyne, Jr.

3 April 2012

Dear Jon,

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If it weren’t for the unique spelling or your name, this could be mistaken for the traditional break-up letter (except for the fact, ironically, that we are both “traditional” males).  In order for one to end a “relationship,” however, it would first be necessary that there be one – which in this case there most certainly has not been….

You see, Jon, while I have the utmost confidence that you are an upstanding citizen and a decent person (and have probably been one throughout most of your life),  I am not familiar with your life narrative…which segues nicely into my reason for writing. But first to the point of your presumed decency or proclivity for deference, Senator.  When you were a young man that was certainly a trait to be admired – and it is still, I believe, the best first response.  When one realizes, however, that we are no longer dealing with a group or an individual who simply has a bit more of a “working-man’s” (or blue-collar) perspective on politics, but rather a group of people who are actively seeking to “fundamentally transform” this nation into a “workers’ paradise” (and Fundamentalist Marxist State), the time for nicities vanishes…or at least it should, Jon!  We are at war…and we will either remain free or, as promised, be “transformed” into something that most Americans, including this one, will never accept!

You recently took the time to send a personal – although I’m sure it was, in the end, a form – letter to a friend of mine, Gabe Zolna, in response to his inquiry regarding what you planned to do about the bullet-proof Arpaio Investigation results.  It just so happened that he showed me your letter as we were leaving to go to the Arpaio Press Conference in Sun City West, this past Saturday, March 31, 2012.  We were saddened (but not surprised), to find you – or any of the AZ Congressional delegation – not in attendance.

You can watch the entire event here, Senator, if you are curious to know what the most widely recognized Sheriff in the nation, serving the most heavily populated County in your state for the past twenty years has been doing (without the taxpayers’ money.)  Here’s what you (or someone on your staff) wrote to refresh your memory:


As a political writer and author, I have become somewhat adept at locking in on revealing words and phrases, Jon, so when I spotted the word “preliminary” joined with “results” in the first line of your letter, I thought I was on to something. Turns out I wasn’t too far off base, as in the second sentence you stressed that the good Sheriff had “stressed” the “preliminary nature of these findings.”  How did I know you were stressing the point, Jon?  Wasn’t that hard…. You said that he had “stressed” it!

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