Coachisright Opinion


Chicago rules, “Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?”


A hysterically funny email making the rounds is called Chicago Rules and would make me laugh if I didn’t want to cry first.  “The guy on the left: He’s Santa Claus. And the guy on the right. . he’s the Easter Bunny! That’s all you need to know” introduces the Barack Obama quote denying any close contact with disgraced and soon to be jailed former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. According to the email, Obama is alleged to have only acknowledged seeing the former governor from a distance in the stands at a Chicago Bears football game.  The Chicago Rules Email shows a Reuters photo of Mayor Richard Daley, Rod Blagojevich, and Barack Obama during a Chicago rally dated April 16, 2007.  Trying to get these pictures to reload was impossible, but I was able to locate a photo of the three men.  Blago was the only man with his eyes open; all three men were smiling widely, with Mayor Daley on the right and now President Obama in the middle with his right arm slightly behind Blago’s left arm.  The scenario suggests to me the three men were sharing a big laugh over some familiar information, but who knows; maybe they just ran into each other because someone pushed them.

Another photo I located shows Obama laughing comfortably with the convicted governor on August 17, 2005, at the Governor’s Day celebration at the Illinois State Fair in Springfield, Illinois.  Another photo refers to current Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel who was elected after Daley retired; their game of musical chairs puts his brother William Daley  (who has moved back to Chicago) in the White House to assist as a chief presidential adviser, a job once held by Emanuel.

A new book just out called THE OBAMAS suggests friction between Michelle and Rambo; did this friction give an impetus for moving the Emanuel chair back to the Midwest? I have no idea.

As Illinois is my birth state, I still have a poignancy when I laugh about the Chicago Rules playbook.  Remember Sean Connery telling the Eliot Ness character in the “Untouchables” movie that “if they take a knife to the fight, you bring a gun?”

Political lore may or may not include that in present day quotes around “da mayer’s” office, but other rules may be funnier: “Rule 1: No matter what you see, hear, or do–you don’t know anybody and you know nothing!”   The characteristically anonymous email then says, “If you capture something on tape or camera-it reveals nothing!”  Chicago Rule 3 says, “If you know what everybody else in Chicago knows–you still know nothing.”

The overarching rule is “No matter what the vote, Democrats win the election.”  So I guess the Easter Bunny was frozen up in Soldier Field when our president saw him, or maybe Santa Claus was really getting ready to pull the new Illinois Senate vacancy out of his knapsack.

My homework assignment for a Poli Sci class might be finding answers to this question: Why did the judiciary allow the FBI to wiretap Blagojevich but wouldn’t allow those tapes to be played in the man’s defense at his trials?

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